Why Does it Hurt...

I recently received this email from a student talking about pain in our lives. It's something I've been thinking about a lot recently, so I wanted to share his question with you and my thoughts about it.

hey jay i have a question for ya... SO I have been kind of discipling a group of kids, i use that crudely. But none-the-less I have been challenging and praying with and for multiple people here. One girl amongst all of them is getting way blasted by God. Her faith is just bounding, but she is really going through this thing where God is bringing up a lot of past hurt in her life. I've put her in contact with some leading women at the Vineyard church we have been going to. But I just realize that I don't know much about why God even does that. I know he does, bc he did it for me. But I don't know how to explain it to other people. Why does he bring up pain? Why does it seem to hurt, ok to be honest why does it hurt? It just seems odd that God who is love and everything seems to hurt us to heal us? Just wondering if you can give me insight and verses to go to to better understand it? Thanks Jay.
"John"


To this email, I replied...

"John",
Great questions! I love it. I've been thinking about this a ton lately. We actually just did some video taping of students sharing the pain they've gone through in life for a series we're starting called "Where was God When..." One of those students is "Erin." She talked about her best friends "Kim" and "Jame's" deaths. "Adam" talked about his parents separating and "Alicia" talked about being raped. Intense and real stuff.

A couple of basic thoughts about pain and why does God bring it up. First, if we don't feel it, we can't recognize it as pain. If we don't recognize it, we can't deal with it. The reason God brings it up is so that he can heal it. Sometimes that is in a moment, but often it is a process over time where forgiveness and healing can come through faith and trusting that God is good.

Second, if we use pain as the gauge of whether something is good or not, we'd be in big trouble. Think about a cardiac surgeon. If they didn't cut you first and open your chest up, they could never fix your heart. Sometimes the immediate pain doesn't seem worth it, but temporary pain is better than a life of pain and disappointment and despair.

Next, perhaps the most incredible thing about pain, is that God himself was not exempt from pain. He feels pain and I would argue even more intensely than we do. Look at Gen 6:5-6, the story of Noah & the flood. God sent the flood as a way to deal with his pain and he said he would never do it that way again. Gen 6:6 says, "The Lord was grieved that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was filled with pain." Think about Jesus when Lazarus died. Jesus wept when his friend was gone and at the hurt of the others who lost him. Also, think about Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. (Mt 26:36-46) He sweat blood because the upcoming pain would be so intense. At the cross, the intense pain Jesus felt as they pounded nails through his hands and feet and hung him there to suffocate. On the cross, Jesus said, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me!" (Psalm 22 & Mt 27:46) Jesus felt pain, the entire weight of the world's sin upon him. But through that pain, he brought us life when he rose from the dead.

Our fear and our feelings are sometimes that the pain doesn't make sense. Why is it there? Why is it so intense? Why can't it just be taken away? If God were to just take the pain away, it would leave us paralyzed. Just like a quadrapalegic can't feel there body, it means they also can't use it. If God takes the pain away, the pain is gone, but we are left broken. Pain is a sign of brokeness.

We have three choices. One: to ignore it and stuff it. Eventually it blows up and rots us on the inside. Two: to deal with it ourselves. Often this is done when we acknowledge the pain, but blame God for it. This is putting bandaids on a gaping wound. It can work for a while and dull the pain, but it leaves huge scars and never heals completely or correctly. Three: we can turn to God and ask for his grace and love to heal us. This is the only option that has hope for complete restoration. Read Is 61:1-3 and Luke 4:18-22. Jesus came to bind up the broken-hearted and proclaim freedom for the prisoners.

One last thing, remember that there is a Devil and he is real. John 10:10 tells us the devil (theif) comes to kill, steal and destroy. It also tells us that Jesus came to give life and life more abundantly. I'm going to chose life. I don't have all the answers. The bottom line to all of this is: Am I willing to trust that God is good and that he can heal my hurt?

I hope this helps. Let me know if you have more questions.
Jay