At the Cross

With Easter on Sunday, I've been reflecting this week on the cross. The cruel instrument of death that God turned into an invitation to relationship with him when Jesus died upon a cross and then rose again. My mind and heart can't grasp this incredible love. I'm spending time meditating on these verses from Romans 5:6-8.

"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

When I was powerless to help myself and overcome my sin, God demonstrated his love for me. When I was at my worst, He came for me and to me....Lord, help me understand this love you have for me! May it transform all my inmost places. May you empower me to experience and live the fullness of life you gave me through your death & resurrection. Amen!

Spring Break in Chicago

Last week we spent an incredible week sharing life and seeking God with the people of Chicago City Church in south Chicago. God has blessed us with a connection with these precious people over the past four years. He has connected the hearts of students with the hearts of the poor & broken in south Chicago. Two very different worlds but both having the same hope and needing the same God to forgive our sins and make us whole.

We spent our time serving, building relationships, encouraging one another and seeking God together. We had a blast working together to paint their church, organize the summer & spring clothes for their botique, hanging doors on their tutoring rooms and other work projects to help CCC do more ministry. Tutoring the kids, getting out on the streets to pray with people & invite them to the church, hanging out with kids in the projects & sharing about Jesus with them and helping with the Tuesday night outreach service & meal were incredible opportunities to love people and share our lives with them. It's amazing how God takes people from two totally different worlds and connects their hearts for one purpose and one hope. We all returned encouraged. I was amazed to watch all of the UMD students step out of their comfort zones and use the gifts God has given them to serve God and others. The gifts God has given them are incredible. I saw each of them grow a begin to really see who God created them to be. I'm so excited for what God has for them in the future!

One other exciting part of the trip was reconnecting with our friend Mercedes at her coffee shop "Mi Cafetal" in the middle of Pilsen, the Hispanic neighborhood in Chicago. We stumbled on Mercedes shop our first year in Chicago and have returned every year since. Mercedes is a dear friend who we have had the opportunity to pray with and encourage every year. We are always excited to see her and get her hugs. She's an energetic lady who cares for everyone. Every year she cries as we say goodbye until the next spring break. She blessed us with lunch for the road; they were incredible rolls with cheese, refried beans and some kind of spicy sauce she makes. Yum!

I'm 8 again!
Where did February go? It's March 1 and as I sit here typing it is a blizzard with whiteout conditions outside. UMD is the only school open today. Right now life feels like a white out where you can only blink your eyes and catch a glimpse of what's going on around you. I'm so thankful for those moments you have in life that remind you to slow down and to enjoy it...we only get to live it once.

One of those moments came this past weekend after finally the first substantial snow storm of the year. Lindsey & I were at her parents home with her sisters watching the snow pile up all weekend. Finally, Sunday morning the snow & wind stopped, so we headed outside to the snowpiles the plows left at the edge of the church parking lot next door. We got our boots, hats & gloves on, grabbed the sleds and headed out to play. It had been years since I last sledded. As we played king of the hill and Lindsey & her sisters tried to drag me off the top, I had a realization. I felt like I was 8 again, not 28! Here were four adults over 25 playing on a snowpile, living up life like we were kids again. I thank God for those moments in life that remind us to smile and remember what's important to us and what we're living for.

Unfortunately the dream ended when we got home and had to plow our driveway out. We're waiting to do that again when the snow stops in a couple of days. But on the other side of the plowing, will be breaking the sleds out and playing again!

Looking Back
I'm still on the challenges kick and thinking about being and living different. So often I get frustrated with the present struggles and failures I have. I wish I could be perfect, but I realize I am not. I've given up trying to seem perfect and all together. What a freedom that comes with that! But there is still the frustration with why it seems like I still struggle with things I've wanted to change. However, as I begin to look back at where I was a month or year or five years ago, I realize I have changed! I am encouraged to look back and celebrate the progress and grace God has given. I can't just look at the now, but need to see how it compares with the past. If I'm moving forward that's a good thing and something to celebrate. If I'm not moving forward, then I need to reassess where I'm at and make changes. Life isn't always easy, but I'm learning to enjoy it more and face the challenges with a new mindset. Life would be boring if every thing were easy. I'm not a glutton for punishment, but I don't want to be an avoider of challenges and let life pass me by.

Embracing Life with its Challenges
Recently I've been struck by the challenges of life. In my life, my friends lives, lives of those around me and lives around the world. Sometimes all I can ask is "Why is it so difficult and messy and painful sometimes?" I think we feel like we deserve more and have somehow earned an exemption ticket from challenges, especially when we begin to follow Jesus. I fought the challenges and vented my frustrations about the challenges in my own life and those close to me. As I've thought about how "unfair" life can be for me, I began to look at others lives and realize how unfair it is that I have so much and others have so little, how I don't have to worry about dying constently while for others it's always a present possibility.

Fair, how do we measure fair? At the bottom of it, I've come to take comfort in the words God spoke to Paul, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (1Cor 12:9) Paul goes on to write "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (1Cor 12:10) Embracing the challenges and difficulties of life, not wasting all of my own strength trying to resist them, but taking the opportunity to cling to Jesus and say, "God, walk with me and help me do the right thing." I am finding his grace and his presence are sufficient for any and all circumstances.

So, it's been a while since I last posted, but it doesn't mean that I've been uninspired. It just means that like everyone else life busy.

One of the things about life I'm learning to embrace rather than resist is the process of growth. While physical growth as a child is so much easier in that it just happens and is relatively pain free, growth as a human and in your inner being often seems painful and excruciatingly slow. However, as I look at my life and see what happens when I've embraced that process, life is so much more enjoyable. Sometimes it is painful or even shameful when we deal with our stuff, but when I understand God is pointing these things out to heal me and help me serve him & others better it makes it worth it.

I was encouraged at a recent retreat for our students by the speaker Sy Rogers. He said many profound things, but a couple of them stick out to me today. First, I can't expect God to "cure" my humanity, but I can expect God to help me to manage it with self-control. God's grace is so incredible! Sy also said God would rather have messy children than no children at all. It's so freeing to be reminded of this infinite and UNCONDITIONAL love our Father has for each of us. He cares more about me being in relationship with him and in the transformational process than about a mistake in one event in my life. God's love & forgiveness are bigger than any mistake I can make. So often I can live out of fear of making a mistake and screwing it all up, but I find freedom in understanding I am in process.

I want to be different. To love God with all that I am and love others with all that God gives me. I'm not even sure what different fully looks like. But I know that today I want to be different than I was yesterday. It's what God created me for. I'm created in his image (Gen 1:27) to reflect his goodness & faithfulness.

"One thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple."
~ Psalm 27:4

The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone."

The past few days I have been inspired by the community of people around me. Genesis 2 talks aobut God creating and after he created man he saw that it was not good for man to be alone. I have been realizing this more and more lately. Even though our world population is increasing and there are more people around us every day it is funny that more people than ever are feeling alone. I think about Adam & Eve when they first sinned and recognized their nakedness, they felt ashamed and hid from each other and God. It's no different today. We so often feel naked and ashamed, so we don't open up to those around us. It takes an effort to do this.

The past couple of days, I have seen a glimpse of what deep community can be and what a gift from God it is. After our Sunday church gathering this week, our church board met (which I am a part of). There were eight of us in a room together talking about Jesus and how to impact our city and our world together. We dreamed and cried out to God. I left the three hour meeting refreshed, encouraged and excited about what God wants to do at Hillside Community Church and in my life.

I've also spent more time lately talking with Lindsey, my incredible wife, about the things of God and his heart for those around us. I can't wait to experience and live more of the blessing God intended marriage to be as Lindsey & I continue this journey together!

It is not good for us to be alone. Life is meant to be shared with others. Open up and share it!